Self-Reflection

Power

Who has what?

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

The distribution of power is detrimental in a relationship where there is an imbalance between two partners; one person exerting their wants and needs over the other.

In an equal, balanced and more healthy relationship each partner gives up some level of power in order to consider the other’s point of view and sometimes compromises for the overall sake of the relationship.

This contributes to each person feeling valued for themselves as an individual of equal worth.

https://bigjakeconnects.org/topic/home-improvement

Your Toolbox

Book: Loving you is hurting me. Laura Copley 2023

Some questions to consider:

How did these power patterns start?

What was m role in these power patterns?

When did the power patern shift in such a chaotic way?

When did I begin self sacrificing my needs sovi did not have to face the conflict or isolation?

How was I forced to change and who did I become?

Why does this pattern feel so familiar?

Podcast & Youtube Links

How to navigate power dynamics in every day life https://fastercapital.com/topics/how-to-navigate-power-dynamics-in-everyday-life.html

The perils of power https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/the-perils-of-power/

BigJake's Thoughts

Power in personal growth is the ability to influence one's life and environment positively.

It involves self-confidence, assertiveness, and the capacity to make choices aligned with one's values.

Finding a balance in wielding power is crucial, as excessive control can lead to ego-driven decisions, while insufficient control may hinder progress.

Striking the right balance empowers individuals to navigate life effectively, achieving growth and impact while remaining grounded and ethical.

Author's Opinion

Book: Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith 2022 On Dark Places

3. Things that help - Power topic

Summary:

We cannot control the thoughts that pop into our minds, but we do have control over our spotlight of attention.

Trying not to think about something tends to make us think about it more.

Allowing all thoughts to be present, but choosing which ones we give our time and attention to, can have a powerful impact on our emotional experience.

Turning our attention to a skill that can be practiced with both mindfulness and gratitude practice.

While there is a time for focusing on a problem, we also need to focus on the direction we want to move in, and how we want to feel and behave.

Thoughts are not facts. They are suggestions offered up to us by the brain to help us make sense of the world.

The power of any thought is how much we believe it to be the only truth.

Taking power out of those thoughts start with stepping back, getting some distance and seeing them for what they are.

4. How to turn bad days into better days. Go To: Author Opinion 1 - Change Topic

Author's Opinion 3

Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024

Power in Relationships

Power is the ability to influence and it can be used in many different ways; some helpful for oneself and in relationships and some very unhelpful. When we are working on improving our relationships it’s helpful to recognise how we use our power and what influences it has on us and on those around us.

Personal Power:

It's our birthright - God given ability to have an influence on others. (example: newborn baby) Nobody can take our personal power away, but it is our choice how we use our power. Some overuse it (misuse of power), some underuse it. There are often mixed up ideas about power. Your personal power is no more or no less important than anyone else’s power.

In a relationship, harm happens in the Power Zone: when it is overused or underused. Some overuse their power to keep their partner underusing their power. What works best in a relationship is each person is able to use their personal power without either overusing or underusing their power.

Power Over: (Central, Superior, deserving)

We’ve all experienced power used in ways that hurt us. Power that is used to control others is never helpful in our intimate relationships. ‘Power over’ often includes the need to control another. Abusive behaviors use ‘power over’ the other.

Power Within: (self-understanding and self-worth)

Very helpful for oneself and for relationships This power includes, feeling secure and at peace with oneself, ability to take responsibility for our actions and to make good choices about proper use of power.It includes honesty, flexibility, using empathy, open mindedness and reliability. Power within also includes learning from our mistakes and being accountable for our behavior

Power For: (helping others -need their consent)

This is when power is used for the benefit of another. People use “power for” when they are helping others, such as charity work, service industry, and using it to do good deeds.

Power With: (partner, friendships: mutual, connected, equal)

This type of power is working with the other and is the type of power needed in intimate relationships. “Power with” acknowledges and respects the power that each person brings and recognizes that both people bring equal power to the relationship and solutions are discussed and recognized by both people.

Your Opinion Matters
Thank you for your shared opinion. BigJakeConnects will post only edited content, but not personal detail, publicly in Community Opinion. This way others can add their thoughts and we can learn from each other.
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Updated: November 2023

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