Life Transitions

Divorce

Seeing the bigger picture

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

The re-solving or de-solving of a relationship often results in physical separation.

Lawyers and /or mediators are helpful or even necessary to guide this process.

Divorce ultimately means ending a marriage when the possibility of reconciliation and happiness with your partner no longer exists.

It's a formal and often painful way of closing an important chapter in your life.

It can be a time of huge emotional and physical challenges for one or both individuals as the often very disruptive, turbulent and lengthy processes that led to the final divorce, gets finalized.

But, as difficult and hurtful as divorce is, over time, seeing it as an opportunity of learning and growth, rather than being a failure will create a positive attitude and better long term outcomes.

Divorce often comes with pain, loss and a deep feeling of grief.

It does however give you the opportunity to recreate your future and a possibility of forging a respectful but separate relationship with your former partner.

Very often unfortunately the hurt and distrust is so deep that it is not possible to even visualize what the future could look like.

What is needed is an abundance of time to heal and self care for each each partner.

Your Toolbox

For recently separated or divorced individuals, the holidays can bring a sense of emotional strain.

This is a normal process of grief and self - reflection

-Name how you are honestly feeling by talking to someone or writing in a journal.

-Consider things you can be grateful for and name them or write it down.

-The key is to balance your time being alone and being social.

-You will get through this even though its a painful journey.

See other related topics on this page!

Podcast & Youtube Links

The cost of divorce

Thank you divorce

BigJake's Thoughts

When the divorce legal paperwork is finally filed at court, it is usually with a mix of relief and grief.

The road of physical and emotional disruption in both parties' lives is tough. Even in the best scenarios.

When kids are involved in the battles and custody finally settled the journey is far from over. Now we have to get on with rebuilding our lives, or what is left of it.

Often it is the building of new friendships and reinventing ourselves that takes a lot of work. Not even considering the economic impact and the added responsibilities that kids might bring into the mix.

However we can choose to be positive and look forward to new life experiences. The grief and sense of loss is an emotion that will sneak up to us from time to time and that's ok.

That is why getting involved in a community or focusing on a hobby or even work, is a great distraction. Having emotional space to heal properly is essential.

Author's Opinion

46% of divorced couples say this was the No. 1 conflict in their relationship—and it isn't money Story by Aditi Shrikant

Almost 690,000 couples reported getting divorced in 2021, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That's about half the number of couples who reported getting married.

Most couples file for what is called a no-fault divorce, which means you can dissolve your marriage without showing that either party has committed any wrongdoing.

That doesn't mean that the union ended without friction, though. There are a handful of commonly cited factors that couples feel put a strain on their marriage, according to a Forbes Advisor survey.

The biggest conflicts divorced couples encounter are:

**Career choices

**Parenting differences **

**Division of household labor **

**Relationships with family **

**Relationships with friends **

**Finances **

**Health choices **

Almost half, 46%, of those surveyed said career choices were the biggest source of conflict in their marriage.

Parenting differences came in second at 43%.

Couples also said division of household labor caused disputes. Science bears this out: women who are partnered and had children with men reported having less sexual desire if they were doing a larger portion of the housework, according to one 2022 study.

Only 5% of divorcees say there was no way their marriage could have been saved, the survey says.

A whopping 63% said that having a better understanding of commitment prior to marrying could have helped them avoid divorce. And more than half said that if they had a better understanding of their spouse's morals and values prior to getting married, they might still be together.

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Updated: November 2023

Related Topics

Mediation

Separation

Sex & Dating (again)

Forgiveness

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