Taking Action

Failure

What went wrong

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

A "relationship failure" is when a relationship ends or doesn't work out as expected.

It's a reminder of what went wrong and a chance to learn from it.

Reflecting on the failure can help you understand what didn't work and what you want in future relationships.

It's using past mistakes as lessons to make better choices and have more successful and fulfilling relationships down the road.

Your Toolbox 1

Extract from: Owning our Struggles by Minaa B. 2023

Think about your own relational dynamics bit past and present.

What characteristics does a person need to process to make you feel seen, heard and emotionally safe in a relationship?

What does respect look like to you in your relationship?

What are the things that you know for sure you cannot tolerate when it comes to a relationship?

What are the things that help you feel loved and cared for in a relationship?

Poor Communication skills

Poor communication damages relationships. The first way may people struggle with communication is not being assertive.

Instead they are passive or aggressive with their communication.

Being assertive means communicating in a clear and direct manner that honors the humanity of the other person.

It means being respectful, listening actively, and responding in ways that are not belittling or degrading.

It is solution focused and works to attack the problem and not the person.

Communication also requires comprehension. Are you actually listening and understanding what you heard, or are you looking for loopholes so you can start deafening, deflecting and projecting?

Curiosity also enhances communication. It takes curiosity and exploration to learn about a stranger.

Poor Boundaries

Know what your needs are and advocate for yourself upfront.

A lack of Effort

When a person is giving more than the other, they will become burned out quickly and will eventually lose interest.

Putting in effort looks like: being curious about the other person, taking action to invest in the health of the relationship and being assertive in the process of pursuing someone.

Not trusting your gut

When you trust your gut you are guided by peace and comfort regarding what you are feeling, and thinking and there is no confusion, fear or worry.

You know yourself and what you need better than me or anyone else, so lean into that self trust and inner wisdom and apply it to your life.

Your Toolbox 2

Book: Level Up by Rod Dial 2023

Distraction : The enemy of Action

If something is important to you, you will find a way; if something is not important, you will find an excuse.

Distraction: Journal prompts

Write down everything that distracts you from taking action or gets in the way of doing what you need to do to get the life you want.

Review that list and write down how you can remove as many as possible of those distractions when you need to focus on taking action.

How can you change and design a workspace to eliminate distraction and encourage the action you want to take?

Who are the five people you spend the most time with? How are they helping or hindering your progress?

Think about your personal goals and then research … events near you, or even just places where people who have similar goals would hang out.

Podcast & Youtube Links

Failure is necessary

Why you are not a looser

BigJake's Thoughts

There are aparently three rules for alpinisme (moutain climbing):

-Expect to fail

-Never give up

-Take one bite at a time.

Author's Opinion

Extract from book: How to live when you could be dead by Deborah James 2022

Fuel the fire of failure

Seeing the benefits of failure is not something that necessarily comes easily. We tend to focus on failure as a lack of success, of falling short and not being good enough. We have to be willing to look for the lessons failure is trying to teach us rather than wallowing in disappointment.

A shitty situation is a shitty situation, but your mindset is what affects how you feel about it and what you do about it and, in most cases, the outcome. Most importantly, having a positive mindset can help you to navigate life’s unexpected shocks and learn from when things go wrong, as it inevitably does.

Some people , when faced with a difficult problem or setback, give up, whereas others see adversity as a challenge and are spurred on by it.

DIRT : Dedicated improvement and reflection time.

*What went wrong?

*What type of failure was it?

*What external factors have been bearing on it and what can you do to minimize their effect next time?

*Do you have what it takes to fix the problem yourself or do you need to ask for help?

*How can you improve your chances of success in the future?

*What are the overall lessons learned?

So, failure doesn't just help you to move you closer to your destination, it also tells you when it is time to change your path entirely.

Turning the cycle of reflection and learning from failure to habit’

Feedback is one of the best tools we have to improve our performance and how we respond to it after failure is vital for growth.

Actively seeking out, receiving and digesting feedback, even if it its not what you want to hear in the moment, is often easier if it comes from a trusted source.

If nothing else. An outside perspective can help your own conclusions about what went wrong.

Community Opinions (public)

This section will reflect the collective coments and opinions that site visitors post via the Your Opinion tab as it relates to that specific topic.

It wil be manually edited by BJ to keep it short and exclude personal or harmfull content.

Thoughts about this topic:

I never really paid attention to my emotional health untill my relationship meltdown last year. -Walter. S, Oct 2023

Challenges for me about this topic:

Im so lost trying to understand why my emotions are so all over the place. I dont really know what to do. -Walter. S, Oct 2023

Your Opinion Matters
Thank you for your shared opinion. BigJakeConnects will post only edited content, but not personal detail, publicly in Community Opinion. This way others can add their thoughts and we can learn from each other.
Disclaimer: BigJakeConnects does not collect hold or store any personal client information.
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This website is for information only. It represents the unproven opinions / thoughts of various authors or collaborating partners.

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Updated: November 2023

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