Our Struggles

Emotional Pain

Finding the roots

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

Emotional pain is often an alarm telling us something's wrong.

We can try ignore it, push it aside with work or sport or block it out with alcohol or other substances but we can also choose to welcome it as an opportunity to change and grow,

Sometimes time can heal you naturally but at other times pain can be so distressing you need to take steps to identify and address it.

Emotional pain today may have its roots in your past, or may be part of an overall emotional pattern you have developed from childhood to adulthood.

Exploring the past and the reasons why we feel the way we do or react the way we react, can help you get out of the emotional trap you find yourself in, when in emotional pain.

But, pain is a gift that signals there is work to be done.

BigJake's Thoughts

There is a saying:

Find the Pain and you will find the Cure.

This is not as easy as it sounds, as pain is often buried so deep under years of life stuff that comes our way.

Often it is the latest struggle or event that causes the final meltdown or awareness that something is wrong.

But often it took years of ignoring pains that just kept adding to this huge, often very emotional pile of suffering.

Author's Opinion

Book: Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith 2022 On Dark Places

2. Mood pitfalls to watch out for - Emotional Pain Topic

Fig 3. The vicious cycle of instant relief. Adapted from the work of Isabel Clark (2017)

Summary:

Thought bias is inevitable but we are not helpless to its effects.

We naturally look for evidence that confirms our beliefs. We then experience what we believe, even when there is evidence to suggest otherwise.

Whatever has caused our low mood , tends to come along with focus on threat or loss.

This bias towards the negative can then feed back to intensify the low mood if we continue to focus on and believe those thoughts to be facts.

One strategy against the downward spiral this can cause is understanding that how we feel is not evidence that our thoughts are true.

Another strategy is taking a stance of curiosity.

Get some distance from those thoughts by becoming familiar with common biases, noticing when they appear and labeling them as biases, not facts.

3. Things that help Go to Author Opinion 1 ; Power Topic

Book: Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith 2022 On Emotional Pain

10. Make it all go away! Emotional Pain Topic

Summary:

Emotions are neither your enemy nor your friend.

We have more influence over our emotional state than we were ever taught to believe.

Pushing emotions away can cause more problems than allowing it to wash over us and take its natural course.

Emotions are not facts but one possible perspective.

If there are painful emotions, get curious, ask questions. What can they tell you?

11. What to do with emotions Go To: Authors Opinion - Feelings Topic

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Updated: November 2023

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