Mental Wellness

Sex & Dating (again)

Fresh start?

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

"Dating again is like hitting refresh for a new relationship. It's a chance for a fresh start.

Imagine it as a blank canvas where you can paint new memories.

Dating allows you to discover someone, enjoy shared experiences, and build a connection.

It's an exciting opportunity to explore and create something special, providing a foundation for a promising and fulfilling relationship.

Dating will also stir up past emotions and experiences that might be emotionally difficult to process.

Be sure you have done the necessary healing and emotional growth so you can be more resilient and successful in managing the new relationship.

https://bigjakeconnects.org/topic/home-improvement

Your Toolbox

Extract from: Owning our Struggles by Minaa B. 2023

Think about your own relational dynamics be it past and present.

What characteristics does a person need to process to make you feel seen, heard and emotionally safe in a relationship?

What does respect look like to you in your relationship?

What are the things that you know for sure you cannot tolerate when it comes to a relationship?

What are the things that help you feel loved and cared for in a relationship?

Podcast & Youtube Links

The Man talks: Connor Beaton https://mantalks.com/podcast/

How to choose a parner wisely

No more bad dates

Men this way- Bryan Reeves

Author's Opinion

Book: How to ask the universe for a sign and get the answer within 24 hours - Ronnie Ann Ryan

There are often many factors that keep men and women single;

Feeling unworthy

Thinking your time for love has passed

Seeking perfection in a man or woman

Guarding your heart vigorously

Assuming all men / women are like your ex

Experiencing extreme sensitivity to the dating process

Unwilling to take a look within:

-What do you want ?

-What makes you happy?

-Are you too critical or accepting?

-Is your heart open?

-Have you done your healing work?

-Did you shore up your confidence and sense of worthiness?

-How can you become more resilient?

-What do you know about dating and understanding men?

-Self-reflection

Not believing in love

It is time to change things up by relooking at your beliefs and planning a different way forward?

Author's Opinion 3

Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024 Jane katz, J&Z Consulting Ltd

Sex in Relationships:

There are many reasons why people have sex in relationships:

-Because it feels good

-So the other person won’t feel angry, sad, jealous, threatened

-To feel secure and close to someone

-To get something else you want, such as money, drugs

-To be liked

-Love and affection

-To end an argument

Sexual activity is one of the most argued about topics in relationships.

When we are arguing about sex, we are not arguing about sex itself, but about what it means to us; why it is important to us.

The difficulty is that in order to solve it we need to be able to talk openly and honestly about what it means, why it is important, what we like and don't like, and this is very difficult for many people to do.

Sex is one of the topics people have difficulty talking about openly and honestly.

We learn to communicate about sex through conversations with friends, the internet, Tv, radio, jokes, magazines and books. Sometimes parents will provide open, honest communication.

Children who are sexually abused often don't engage in normal diffusion processes with friends as a way of exploring and learning more. Their ability to use language to talk about sex is affected even more.

Dealing with NO:

One of the things that is bound to happen in relationships is sometimes one person wants sex and the other person doesn't.

This is normal. In a healthy relationship it is not a problem. For someone with a strong foundation it is not a problem.

Sometimes people in relationships have unrealistic expectations about what the other person will do. They believe the other person is obligated to have sex whether or not they want it.

They believe that if the other person doesn't have sex with them that they are no longer attractive - their self-worth is tied up in the other person's sexual desire.

If a partner says ‘No’ if the foundation of the person being rejected is not strong she/ he may not respect ‘No”.

Some ways of not respecting ‘no’ are:

Name calling and put-downs

Accusing him/ her of wanting to be with someone else

Whining and sulking

‘Accusing him / her of not loving you

Silent treatment

Leaving

Bribery

Threatening to find someone else to have sex with

Your Opinion Matters
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Updated: November 2023

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