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Web Wisdom

Friends are people you choose to be with because you like them and enjoy their company.

Spending time with friends is important because it helps you learn from each other, share experiences, and build strong connections.

It can boost your happiness, reduce stress, and provide valuable support during life's ups and downs.

Hanging out with friends is a vital part of life, promoting social and emotional well-being.

A true friend is someone who is honest, loyal, supportive, and willing to go out of their way to help you. A true friend will always be there for you and will not judge you.

To be a better friend to others, be available to listen, show kindness and empathy, be honest, be loyal, be supportive, be understanding, and be willing to compromise.

Showing appreciation and respect for each other even though we might not always agree or share the same views.

Your Toolbox

Book: The friendship files.- Julie Beck.

Six forces that form friendship.

Accumulation.

Putting in the hours of connecting and clicking. 50h from acquaintance to friend 90h to become good friend 200 hours to become best friends.

Attention.

Connection can come from anywhere and anytime if both parties are open to it. Look for friendships in places you never expect. Follow your gut. Step out of habits and into the moment. Intention. Be brave and reach out. When opportunity arises, you have to put yourself out there and that requires courage, vulnerability and willingness to let things be awkward. Be intentional. It takes some time for surface level connection to grow into something deeper. That requires bravery.

***Ritual. ***

Scheduling a time to hang out. A time that works for everyone. Imagination. Society has a place for friendship and its on the sideline, says julie. They are supposed to play a supporting role in work, family and romance. But you can break the rules and build the kind of relationship that works for you.

***Grace. ***

No matter how good your intentions are, no one is a good friend all the time. Luckily friendships are flexible and our expectations are more relaxed.

We tend to be more forgiving with our friends.With friends its easier to pick up where you left off. ..friendship does not always have to be about presence; it can also be about love that can weather absence.

Positivity.

Laughter, affirmation, gratitude, acts of service, jumping in to help where you can, having fun and even voicing the fact that your friendship means a lot to you goes a long way to strengthening friendship bonds.

Consistency.

Interacting on a regular basis makes people feel safe and close to each other.

**Vulnerability. **

Confiding in your friends and sharing personal details of your life.

Podcast & Youtube Links

Three requirments of all healthy friendships

The purpose of friendships

Author's Opinion

Book: Friendship: the evolution, biology and extraordinary power of life's fundamental bond. Lydia Denworth

Typically we form most of our friendships in our youth or early 20’s.

Proximity does matter. It needs emotional connection too. Same world views and similar sense of humor is important.

*Men’s Shed model - Australia. * The Shed Movement - Golding.

Men= Shoulder to shoulder. Women = Face to face

-Men need somewhere to go, something to do.

-Someone to talk to.

-Free from experts and rules.

-Only instincts and intuition.

-Not patronizing men.

-Not fixing men.

-They don't want to be seen as broken.

-Just empower them to do something for themselves.

-An organized means of unorganized interaction.

-Bond over a common goal.

Circle of friends principles

Snow (1998) identified four layers to a Circle of Support:

The circle of intimacy

The people you spend a lot of time with, trust, and share emotions, intimate relationships, and private information with.

These people are very precious to us and we would miss them greatly if they were not around. You might live with these people.

The circle of friendship

The friends or relatives that we like to spend time with socially. We might see these people occasionally rather than very regularly.

You might share interests and news with this group.

The circle of participation

The people or organizations you participate in and interact with on a frequent basis. This could be clubs, church groups, neighborhood groups, sports teams, work colleagues, or college friends.

The circle of exchange

The people that are paid to be in our lives, for example, staff, doctor, dentist, tutor, social worker, therapist, hairdresser.

Snow observed that persons without disabilities may have a spread of people across all four layers of the Circle of Support.

However, a person with a disability may have people in circle 1 and circle 4 but have significant gaps in the other two layers.

Author's Opinion 3

Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024

-Support

Support is necessary for the good times as well as the bad times.

Some people are great when your world is falling apart, but can't be there when things are going well (or vice versa).

In a healthy relationship your partner is there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on and is there to celebrate with you your successes.

Your Opinion Matters
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Updated: November 2023

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