Mental Wellness

Compassion

Self-compassion

Your opinion matters
Your opinion matters
Web Wisdom

Compassion is about being kind and understanding to others when they're going through tough times.

It's important for our mental wellness because it creates strong bonds and support networks.

Compassion is enhanced by empathy and imagining yourself in the other person's shoes.

When we show compassion, we're there for each other, offering a helping hand or a listening ear.

This makes us feel valued and less alone, which is good for our mental health and overall well-being.

https://bigjakeconnects.org/topic/home-improvement

Your Toolbox 1

Extract from: Owning our Struggles by Minaa B. 2023

Tools:

Complete the following exercise by practicing audio journaling.

Grab your phone, press the Record button, and answer the following prompts out loud.

Listen intently to your response when your done, and replay this as an affirmation to remind yourself of your process.

Finish the sentence: “I hold the power to …” Finish the sentence: “I am forgiving myself for …”

To take this exercise to the next leven outside of the prompts I provided, take five to ten minutes to record yourself talking freely about an event or interaction that upset you. Get it all out.

Then listen to the recording to assess whether there are any discrepancies, the same way you would listen to a friend and give them advice to help them discern between rational and irrational thoughts.

*Do you have more clarity on the situation and yourself?

What did you learn about your way of thinking after playing the audio back?*

Your Toolbox 2

A friendly, simple tool to guide people of all ages and backgrounds through meditations for mindfulness and compassion.

https://www.stopbreathethink.com/

Podcast & Youtube Links

Podcast: Dr Kristin Naff - Self -compassion

www.drchattergee.com/163

Podcast: Dr Julian Able - The healing power of compassion

www.drchatterjee.com/138

Author's Opinion 1

Extract from: Owning our Struggles by Minaa B. 2023

Forgiveness and compassion

Practicing self-forgiveness is vital to healing. Self-forgiveness does not mean forgetting.

It is not an undoing of your past actions, nor does it mean getting a pass on your harmful behaviors.

You will still face the consequences for your actions.

Self-forgiveness means opening our eyes to our actions and seeing them clearly without the cloud of shame or denial.

We can't move forward when we are gripped by the weight of shame, and when we aren't moving forward, we are at risk for recycling old patterns that can lead to further harm.

In the words of Brene’ Brown, “Shame corrodes the very part of us that believe we are capable of change”

Practicing self-forgiveness looks like:

-Acknowledging the mistakes you've made

-Owning the consequences that result from your choices

-Commiting to change behavior, not just for the other person, but also for others and yourself.

--Owning your own guilt and not treating it as a character flaw

-Apologizing to yourself for not knowing better

-Apologizing to yourself for knowing better and choosing not to do better

**-Self-compassion is the foundation of self-forgiveness. **

We are flawed, imperfect human beings, which means that we will make mistakes in life, and unfortunately some of those mistakes will cost us deeply.

Practicing self- compassion looks like:

-Being kind to yourself when things go wrong

-Allowing yourself not to be perfect

-Showing kindness and patience

-Being accepting of your flaws and shortcomings

-Being understanding when you mess up

-Nurturing yourself through positive self-talk

-Being non-judgemental and less self-critical

-You have the ability to give yourself what you've been missing

Author's Opinion 2

Book: Why has nobody told me this before? By Dr Julie Smith 2022 On Emotional Pain

13. How to support someone - Compasion Topic

Summary:

It is normal to feel overwhelmed or inadequate when supporting someone with mental health problems.

You want to fix it but don't know how.

Learning to support someone who is suffering can be stressful as you dont want to say the wrong thing.

But don't avoid them.

You don't have to fix everything to be a great support.

Look after yourself to prevent burnout. Get your own support and set clear boundaries.

Never underestimate the power of listening.

14. Understanding grief Go To: Authors Opinion Grief Topic

Book: Happy Life Happy Mind - Dr Rangan Chatterjee 2022

Understanding that every one of us is a complex result of all our previous interactions and experiences helps us develop a deep sense of empathy and compassion.

If you were the other person, with their childhood , their parents and their exact same life experiences, you would almost certainly be acting in exactly the same way.

Our ego doesn't want to believe this. We tell ourselves that, if we were them , we’d behave differently. Because we’re better than them and more knowledgeable and kinder.

But this is just our ego talking. How could this be true? If they could act differently, they would.

**Understanding this has brought a new level of calm and perspective to my life. **

It makes it easier to be compassionate to every person I meet.

Author's Opinion 3

Handouts: Home Improvement: Men in Relationship Jan 2024

Self-compassion

Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings - after all, who ever said you are supposed to be perfect?

Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you dont like about yourself.

Instead of just by ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now, “how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?

Three elements of self-compassion:

Self- kindness vs self- judgment

Self- compassionate people recognize that being imperfect, failing , and experiencing life difficulties is inevitable, so they tend to be gentle with themselves when confronted with painful experiences rather than get angry when life falls short of their ideals.

Common humanity vs isolation

Self- compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacies is part of the shared human experience - something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “me” alone.

Mindfulness vs over- identification

Mindfulness is a non judgemental, receptive mind state in which one observes thoughts and feelings as they are, without trying to suppress or deny them. We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.

At the same time, mindfulness requires that we not be “over- identified” with thoughts and feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by negative reactivity.

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Updated: November 2023

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